Here's to December...

Hello mamas! Not only have we made it more than half way through another week, we survived a snow day with our little (or big) ones. But then again, tis the season of survival, isn't it? With it getting darker earlier, the temperature dropping and the holidays approaching, December certainly tests our strength and fortitude, turning even the most mundane tasks into acts of courage for some mama bears. Even those among us who's optimism and faith are so strong it's as if they bring the sun wherever they go can struggle. The most wonderful season of all it is not.

And yet, this difficult end to the year may bring us gifts that cannot be found under a tree. There is a spiritual concept called the dark night of the soul, a period of time in each of our lives, usually triggered by a traumatic event, loss or phase of life change, that brings about reflection and shines a light on our shadow, the dark parts of ourselves that we would never invite to Christmas dinner nevermind become intimately acquainted with. Just like December, this time in our lives is a force to be reckoned with. Both are dark, raw, and impossible to ignore.

But December, as it is with the dark night of the soul, offers us an opportunity, if we are open to receiving. The dark nights, the cold and dreary weather, awaken the hidden parts of our soul, forcing us to feel what needs to be healed. And while the bright lights of the season illuminate our suffering, our losses and the pain we've inflicted on ourselves and others, they also lead us to look within. This season of our lives, whether it be December, a dark night of the soul or whatever label feels right for you, reveals what is no longer ours to carry, what is no longer working for us and asks us to release it to the Universe. It is within this surrender that we are given a true gift- the understanding that everything we need, we already have. It is the bright light within that shines through the dark.

I know this to be true because I've experienced my own long December. What was once the greatest struggle of my life, having Postpartum Depression and Anxiety, became what brought me back to life. Last December I was already far gone, having descended into darkness months earlier. I just didn't know it. And the part of me that did know something was wrong, the part of me that hid white hot quiet rage unlike I had ever felt before, I ignored. The seismic shifts in my life had awakened a sleeping dragon. I just wasn't ready to let her out. I didn't even know I needed to.

Getting diagnosed gave me a direction to head in but it took a long time for me to see the light and part of this was my choice. This long December, as dark and chilly and raw as it was, helped me see that I needed to hang out in the shadowy, sketchy parts of my inner world. I needed to get to know the pain, loss, trauma, shame, and god knows what else that hides out there. I needed to get intimately acquainted and invite them to Christmas dinner so I could sit with them, feel their energy, learn from them, see them for what they were and then ask them to leave. And each time I dove deeper into darkness and got to know the uglier parts of myself, I cleared space for my inner light.

Leaning into that season of my life taught me that I can feel my feelings, that I can experience hard things, that I can say that I am not okay and yet I still stand. That, mama bears, is the beauty of Decembers. Yes, they are the season of survival but as winter slowly turns into spring, you look inward and realize, you survived.

My dear mamas, my wish for you during this December, whatever December means for you, is that you offer yourself the grace and compassion you would offer your cubs. Take time to nourish your soul, to feel all the feels, to mourn and grieve for what or who you need to. And then take a moment to remind yourself you will survive this season. You've already survived this season many times before. Mamas, your ability to survive is that bright inner light. It's there even if you don't quite feel it yet. I know this to be true because when I see my mama community, I see freakin La Sallette.

Sending all of you peace, love and light🙏✨❄ xoxo